And I'm Still Learning

[lovehimso]

I tried to take my ring off too. I realized that I'm still married and want my W to see that I have not moved on...still on my finger.

I struggled with this concept when I took my ring off last Friday. What pushed me to take it off and keep it off (so far) was that my H was the one who encouraged me to stop thinking of him right now as my H. It was very hard for me to hear him say that, but the reality of the situation is that even though we are still legally married, he does not think of us that way right now. Right or wrong, that's the reality of it.

I've told my H so many times that I am still commited to him and our M, so actually taking off my ring is a 180 for me. It doesn't mean my commitment has changed, but it does signify a shift in my thinking. Still not sure if he has noticed that I'm not wearing it, but it has helped me to shift my focus a little off of him and our R, and onto myself and what I need to do for ME, to give myself back a little self-respect.

At some point I may decide to put the ring back on, even if H doesn't, but my feeling at this point is that it will remain off until/unless we both recommit to our M and we both put our rings back on.

I think wearing/not wearing our rings is a highly personal decision, and not one to be taken lightly. Our rings are so symbolic, that whether or not we wear them has such an impact on us emotionally. Don't feel bad about putting your rings back on Beth. You are not a fraud. Tomorrow, next week, next month, I may just slip that ring back on my finger whether H is back with me or not. For the moment, it's working for me. Do what works, toss the rest.