TxMom- help I'm still hopeful -#2 post

[TxMomw/2girls]

Hi - hope everyone is hanging in there..

I guess when I don't feel the need to post every detail maybe I'm getting through the hard days a little easier.. not sure ... I think it is just to exhausting to post all the time.

Thanksgiving was not easy but got through it... H had rough time too ...

Question-

My H asked me to go to lunch thursday to talk... said he hasn't been a good communicator and wanted to cover off schedules etc... (he has to date never asked me to lunch since he left) I asked him what else he wanted to talk about? Was he going to give me D papers... he said NO.... we changed to meet Thursday at 5pm now and having our Nanny stay and watch the girls little late tomorrow.... I'm little nervous..... I know he'll bring up D or selling the house.. who knows..

I'm in this place where I feel I'm obsessing now about H and OW and I haven't done this until recently - last few weeks.. I can't shut my mind off now and I'm having dreams of him.

I feel I could probably never move passed everything he is done but I don't know how to make the pain go away... He is moving so fast with her.... going to her home town last weekend .... still picking her over his kids....

I know what you are thinking "take the focus off of H and OW" I really just don't want to see or talk to him EVER.... how can I stop seeing or talking to him when we have babies?? I feel overwhelming need to want answers from him .... something to help my healing process.. not sure he could really give me this anyhow...

Gosh the pain is unreal somedays....