And I'm Still Learning

[lovehimso]

Hello Beth,

I know I haven't been around in the last couple of weeks or so, and I apologize. I've read through your new thread and really need to get back to your last one so I can catch up with how your Thanksgiving went.

Reading through this thread, however, was just amazing to me because I understand so much of what you are going through. I, too, took off my wedding band, right around the time you did. I'm still a little uncomfortable without it, as I have been wearing it for over 12 years now and I almost feel unfaithful to my husband just taking it off.

However, I took it off because even though it represented to me my OWN commitment to my H, it was just one more thing that was keeping me from moving toward detachment. As long as it was on my finger, I kept thinking of him as my H, and it hindered my patience with the process we are going through.

Taking off my ring does not mean that I am any less committed to my H and our M than I was before, or that I am looking to date someone else. All it means is that I recognize the reality of the current situation. I guess I had already stopped looking at my ring as a symbol from my husband, so maybe that's why I am actually doing okay with it off right now (not good, but okay).

While I took my little "sabbatical", I thought about you and the others here often. I just had to take a break because I felt that I was obsessing and I really needed to break that cycle and start GAL. I think I'm getting to the beginning stages of that now. Plus, even though I was receiving amazing advice and support, I was starting to feel like a real failure because I wasn't sure I would be able to follow ANY of it. I just needed some time to sort things out.

Anyway, I really hope you are having a good day. I agree with what Sandi said about you being a smart person, and I too hope you will be around here for a long time. You have always been able to make me feel like I was not alone, and for that I thank you.