Is there a glimmer of hope for I'mstillhopeful ?

[I'mstillhopeful]

I recently added to my sig and thought that I should post an update. I've been away both literally and figuratively.

H did follow through and gave me a ride to the train station. During the drive he handed me a collection of things which he thought would enhance my trip. These included a newspaper clipping, a magnifying glass (for reading maps), some British currency, a pin, a windbreaker, and some apples. When he hugged me goodbye I noticed that his eyes were filled with tears. He kept in contact while I was gone through e-mail and the occasional phone call. The day I arrived in the UK he e-mailed, "Please tell me if you arrived safely so a) I won't have to worry and b) so that I may enjoy your trip vicariously."

When I returned he met me at the train station and drove me back to the house after stopping for a dinner which we could take back with us. He was interested in my travels and then hugged me goodbye and returned to his apartment.

Shortly thereafter I visited my parents for 10 days and he participated in the charade that we are still together to keep my mother's mind at peace. He telephoned almost every night and apologised when he skipped a night.

Just before Thanksgiving he asked if I had plans and suggested that we get together because, "Noone should be alone on Thanksgiving." We couldn't do anything on the holiday because he had accepted an invitation from the SiL whom my coach feels is in an emotionally incestuous relationship with him. Of course it was out of the question for her to invite me to join them.

H did take me out to dinner to a really elegant restaurant on Wednesday night. I left the choice of restaurants up to him and the one he selected is so special that when we were together we reserved it for our birthday celebrations. We shared a bottle of wine and he brought me back to the house for dessert. This is the only time since he left that I haven't met him in town if we were going out to eat. He picked me up at the house and drove 12 miles to the restaurant. While I waited for him I felt like I was waiting for a date. It was amazing and strange at the same time.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I felt a little sad on Thanksgiving. The memory of the previous night's dinner should have sustained me but I was alone on Thanksgiving after all. I did go out for a hike with the dog but didn't have much energy. I haven't had any contact since a flurry of e-mails after that amazing dinner. I did tell him what a wonderful time I'd had and he replied that he had enjoyed it also and that he'd like to do it again sometime.

Now I need to be patient and to prepare for what may transpire next. I'm a little superstitious and worry that posting about such positive interactions might invite some very negative ones from the cosmos. However, I wanted to keep the thread updated should anyone in the future have a similar situation. Of course, now I wonder if I will remain in stage 2 forever. I do have to add that I am happy to see the wonderful man I have known for 30 years and not his cruel alter-ego.