Her lack of response does not mean no. YOu can't assume that. If it is a no, let her verbalize it to you and explain why so you have a chance to make your rationale as well.
The statement about bringing the affair up.....just so ya know, part of that is probably true on her point. If she is trying to move past it and open her heart to you, she can't be reminded of it/him over and over. Yet, you need these pieces first...you need to tell her that. You can let the past be the past once some issues are talked about, etc.
Why do you need to know about the move to have the heart to heart? Is it because you want something to whip out when/if she won't do what you ask her?
I have told her I won't hold it over her head. I've repeated many many times that once we work through this that it'll be over. But she won't talk about it AT ALL. I've told her that's a recipe for another affair to happen if we don't understand how and why it happened. I've told her that I want to understand my part in it happening so I can make the changes I need to make, but she just refuses.
The move is just the ice breaker to have the talk. Again, I told her back in Sept I wouldn't bring it up until she was ready to talk about it, but that we WOULD need to talk about it. Someday. And I'm willing to live by that, but only as long as I see us making some progress, but I just don't see any progress. If anything, I see back sliding.
Ok, now I'm really going to leave. See ya.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
