I gave her some info on Retro in early Sept. Asked her to take a look at it and let me know what she thought. Just like everything else, she never responded.
Mid Sept, asked her if she'd be willing to read some books on recovering a marriage after an affair (in a letter) and said some other things. I told her I wasn't looking for a response to the letter other than I wanted to know if she'd be willing to read the books or not. No response.
I can't say we've ever had a heart to heart since this started. Every time I try to talk to her about it she just sits there. She claims I'm attacking her because "I told you I don't want to discuss it, so every time you bring it up I just feel attacked". In late August when I told her if she didn't even want to "try" we should just end it now because I can't go on like we are she replied (in an email), "I was a ball of nerves at work yesterday because you just constantly bring the affair up. I'm trying to move on but you won't let me and I don't want to live like this".
So, does that sound like someone who's been NC "for months"? Doesn't sound like it to me. Since that time I've tried to communicate about R things through letters so she doesn't feel attacked or threatened. All that seems to do is allow her to ignore anything I've said.
My boss told me he'd know more later this week as to the timing of the move etc. Once I know that, we'll be having the heart to heart. No anger. No attacking. Just me saying how I feel and telling her that for us to have a chance I need her to read some books and get rid of the affair stuff. If she's not willing to do that, then she can stay here and figure out what she wants.
I'm just tired of the bullchit.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.