AmyC in response to your post to me, yes i did consider everytime I have an emotional reaction that it was a setback or backslide because I need to not get this way. I fel better knowing this. I have read the book 3 times, I think a forth would be good right now since my detachment process is heavy in the works.
I have found a way to keep her in my head, but in check and not get into the drama. Sunday nights episode and todays. when I sat back and thought of what it was that meant the most to me in both of those situations, my D17. I have been thinking today of what issues keep brining her into my head. Obviusly the thought of her and him are very upsetting to me. So I think of something I am going to do that makes me happy in the next 24-48 hours. It doesn't take away the pain, but it takes away the image.
These calls about her getting married, telling people we're nopt getting back together ever, etc...have not discouraged me as I am concentrating on Saturday, my D17s health, helping her with other things and calming down!!!!
I am thinking some times, that by being so dark and doing these things makes my opportunity with her virtually impossible to ever be. I do recite my words, if she is with him there is nothing, no expectations, no nothing, move on down the road a ways. I think I am really getting it now. I think I finally have found what it is I need to do. As long as I now know that if I emotionally crack, cry or pain because of feeling for and towards her is not a setback, backlside or anything negative to my current status, then i absolutely feel better. I just thoguht I would have to keep getting up each time and restarting. Now i Know all I have to do is pick myself up and continue from where i left off. It does give me some real good peace of mind. thanks,
