It was just how I felt at the time. Age doesn't have so much to do with it really...but my point was S12 gets to start his own life...I had a moment in there of feeling like..."save yourself, S12!!! I'm going down with the ship."
The not having choices feeling comes from living in the alcoholic family system. I CAN have choices...that's what Al Anon is all about, in fact their new book is called Discovering Choices.
But it's hard to look down a long road and know that you are always going to be fighting for it, for your right to just be yourself. Why does it have to be like that?
But that's why their number one adage is ONE day at a time. Things are better than they were. So they can be better than they are...and I guess right in this particular moment they are fine. So...be in the moment, as they say.
