Ok guys, I have stepped away from the pity party....
You have all given me great support and comfort. It means everything in the world to talk to friends that are also experiencing the same kinds of hurt.
Kel, I am glad that you and H are going to work on rebuilding the friendship. Just don't close all of the doors for a while. You will stop hurting each other if you can be friends again.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
hey hope, mt had a great idea for us on your thread hehehe, you must read it lol!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Just got this from a friend by email, I know exactly why she sent it to me, I sent it on to my 9 people I was supposed to and many of the responses back to me have been wonderful. Just wanted to share with my sisters here, and anyone else who is riding along..Tomato
Leave Yesterday Alone (its gone) Live Today (count your blessings) Don't Worry About Tomorrow (it may not come)
Dear God, The lady reading this is beautiful, classy & strong and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above expectations. Help her to shine in darkest places and love where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most and let her know that when she walks with you; she will always be safe. Send to all the ladies u love. I just did.
Got home and H was here, was in an OK mood. We talked about his work and his friend from work called, about going to Taco Tuesday tonight. H said he would be there shortly. I was upbeat and happy and we talked about his day. He didn't have time to take the steel because he was looking at the duplex. I asked him if he was going to be on time tomorrow, and laughed. I said you haven't been on time since you have been there. H said yes I have, I said you were late Wednesday, Monday and Tuesday. H said Oh well. I know I shouldn't have said anything, but I always felt bad when he was late, and he used to. We talked a bit about SD24, he had talked to her some, not about not living here, but that her Mom and Grandma are giving her a hard time because her mom says H cheated on her, I told SD that I don't think he did, but I told H I could have told you they would say that. H said Yeah. I think that bothered him some that he is doing now what he said he hadnt' done. He told me the duplex was reasonable, but too small. I said too small for what? H said for me. H tells me that he is has seen some trailers for sale in the paper that if he is spending $500 a month that is $6000 a year, I just as well buy something for $10,000, or so. That made me upset, some I didn't cry, I looked away, but I said do you want to sell this place? H said No, Do you? I said No, but I hate that you are going to have to spend so much money. We just sat there for a while. Then his phone rang, another guy about going to Taco Tuesday. He started getting stuff ready said he took two more pairs of jeans and some socks. H says we will talk tomorrow. I said sorry. I need to stop the sorry's. H gave me kiss, I said are you going to gyrate? H laughed and said why? ( all weekend long when he would lean over me on the couch he was gyrating too) I said you were all about the gyrating earlier? H said what I said this weekend. H says that was this weekend, I said is it different? H said no. I said have a good time, be careful going home.
I just really sucked at the Dbing today. I am not sure why it bothered me, but it did. So backsliding I go.
hold on going to get coffee, where is he going to put the trailer, on your property or in the middle of the road?
He is making excuses to not make any sort of real decision. He didn't want to move out of your place but he knows now that he is not ready to come back but he doesn't want to be where he is either. Don't freak out. D-if she wants to stay with you, what is the big deal, unless you don't want her there. She is not a child, but she is your friend. Yea maybe it seems a little wierd, but I don't see why he is pushing for that.
Gave BG all the wisdom for the moment. I'll get back on that later. If there is any. Have a wonderful day.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
See that is what I thought about that when he said too small... it was too small? When I said too small for what? The trailer, I think it is in a park somewhere.
As for SD, she wants to move, has wanted to move for a while. She moved out in 2004 when she didn't want to live by the rules and couldn't pay the $400 cell phone bill she created on our plan and had no money for school and wrecked her car and didn't have money for deductable, all of this in a 3 week period and 1 month earlier she had money for school. She moved back home in 2006 after she lived with her grandparents and then moved in with then BF for 1 month. She tried to get her Dad to cosign on an apt back in August when all of this was starting. She did try to play us against each other for a bit. She is a lot like her mom. She knows she can stay, but she wants to move with her BF. Which the town is bigger so she would have better job opportunities there. Not sure how long it will last for her, but what ever happens, it will be someone elses fault.
Sorry didn't mean to get off and that tangent. LOL.
Last night H called around 9:30, was being taxi service for some of his friends who had too much to drink at the bar. We talked on his way home, and I would say he sat outside there for a while, because we talked for an hour or so. He told me about the stupid stuff the guys were doing while they were drunk. I said that didn't last long. H said yeah they were already drunk when he got there at 6:30. H said he was sorry he made me sad. I told him I am OK. I said are you OK, H said if I don't think about it. I was glad he called, we sat in silence a few times, but he didn't want to get off the phone and go in, it was very obvious to me anyway, when he wasn't saying anything. I told him I was glad he called, and he said so am I. You know I like to talk to you. I asked him if he was going to be on time. He laughed.
So this morning H calls me early around 6:10. We talked, and he was on time. Said he crashed last night and did sleep. Asked how I slept, I said OK. He says you lie. I said I just sleep for bit and wake up. About every 2 hours. We talked until he got to work, as I was getting ready. It was a nice conversation.
Hope - Read more of the book, it is talking to me, I know. I just need to work on being stronger with H. That is very hard for me.
She knows she can stay, but she wants to move with her BF. Which the town is bigger so she would have better job opportunities there. Not sure how long it will last for her, but what ever happens, it will be someone elses fault.