I hope the sabbatical offers you an important break, PH! Holiday blessings to you dear person.
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Hugs PH. I always say do what is in your heart. I have sent my h e-mails about thinking of him or thanking him for things that he helped me with.
Many times I did not get a response, but that was ok because they were sent with love and caring.
I am not so sure your h sees them as pursuing. Just do what feels right and loving and let it come from the heart. How could you be faulted if you follow your heart.
Jesus didn't think about if he said this or did that it would be perceived as this. I don't put much stock into how it's going to be perceived, but that my heart was in the right place and I did it out of love not to get a response from my h.
There is nothing wrong with showing another that you care about them and love them.
The best advice I can give is when your h brings up issues, just agree with him. He will have no where to go with it. Like when he says you fought to much. Something like h you are right we did fight a lot and we slept apart too many nights. Your right, but what I did love was the fact we had fun making up. Then just give him a big wink and a smile. See how you can take something negative and turn it into a positive.
We will be in touch!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Dear Laurie, What a lovely, lovely surprise!! Thank you so much for thinking of me.
Yes, the much-needed break has been very good for me.
I know you'd be interested to know this - since you were the person who first told me about the book "Love & Respect". I joined a Love & Respect study group and it has been so good to know how the differences between men and women cause bad communication.
I wish my H can realize this. He thinks it's me and him not knowing how to cummunicate with each other. He doesn't realize that this is such a common problem.
I think that is great that you are going to the respect study group. I am going to see if I can find one in my area.
Sorry PH that I haven't called you yet. I have just been so busy with either the kids or h or holidays or work or something, but I am thinking of you and praying.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Hugs PH. I always say do what is in your heart. I have sent my h e-mails about thinking of him or thanking him for things that he helped me with.
Many times I did not get a response, but that was ok because they were sent with love and caring.
I am not so sure your h sees them as pursuing. Just do what feels right and loving and let it come from the heart. How could you be faulted if you follow your heart.
Jesus didn't think about if he said this or did that it would be perceived as this. I don't put much stock into how it's going to be perceived, but that my heart was in the right place and I did it out of love not to get a response from my h.
There is nothing wrong with showing another that you care about them and love them.
The best advice I can give is when your h brings up issues, just agree with him. He will have no where to go with it. Like when he says you fought to much. Something like h you are right we did fight a lot and we slept apart too many nights. Your right, but what I did love was the fact we had fun making up. Then just give him a big wink and a smile. See how you can take something negative and turn it into a positive.
We will be in touch!
GG, Thanks for the hug.
I do hope my H doens't see my contact as pursuing. I guess I could get used to not living with him, but I do miss going to him for advice about things. I am so used to bouncing off ideas with him or just asking his opinion.
As for making up after fights, he usually was the one to do it. I wish I did my fair share of it. Something I have learned since the separation.
Yes, I do want him to know he's being loved, and I need to worry less about how he would take it, as long as my intentions are pure and well-meaning.
I hope you find a L&R group to join. Churches offer them. Maybe you can ask your Church to start one.
I understand about the busyness. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Today, my H turned down my invitation (sent 2 days ago). It's OK. He was warm in his response. I told him it's OK. I hope he feels welcome any time.
It's ok PH that he turned you down. He is not ready. You asked from your heart and that is what matters. My h many times turned me down and many times did not respond. Did I get discouraged, you bet, but I forged on and am still trying today.
Much progress has occurred, but much more needs to happen for me.
A warm reponse is nice. That is a start!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I found a really good book recently, "The Power of a Woman's Words" by Sharon Jaynes, which I think you will find very helpful in your situation with your H.
BTW, I did read up about your latest incident with him regarding the door-to-door solicitors. Hence, I am telling you about this book.
I also thought AT FIRST that you were talking about a lawyer when you mentioned "solicitor".
As for the warm response, he usually is warm in his response even when he turns me down. Not new.
Glad to see you posting, PH--seems like a long time!! Or maybe I have been working and do not have as much time as I'd like to read everything.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
