(It has taken me doing a lot of hard work on my part to arrive to this point. We are still not out of the woods, so to speak, but we have arrived into some clearings which seem to become bigger each time we enter into another.)
That's great news... Whatever you are doing is working. 'm pulling for you if YOU are sure it's what you want. I'm starting to question it myself. Had an exchange with someone that struck home and which I need to fully consider:
Sang-froid wrote: "I don't know how much longer that I can continue to be nice to her. I'm seriously considering the LRT and going very "dim." Mainly because I don't know if I can be around someone who does not have the strength to keep the family intact; the insight to understand that the grass is not greener, that divorce is not the answer to her problems."
I responded: "You are so much more succint than I am, but, after a year on this roller-coaster, what you just described in one sentence is what makes my blood boil most right now... She has the strength to pursue other things (she now wants to go back to graduate school, but neither the DECENCY nor STRENGTH to look at any of those things. It's incredible that the fog completely crowds out a conscience (when lying becomes second nature). That's why I think she is not herself, because no one would knowingly want to be a "liar", or maybe that's complete naivete on my part..."
(If you have read all of my sitch you will see that I have had some very difficult times over the last7 months. From the dropping of the Bomb to contemplating and coming very close to taking my own life, to find inspiration from the DB/DR and one person on the this forum. Although, my sitch sounds like others here, it is still my sitch and it is deferent form others here.)
Yikes! In reading the past posts, I missed that part. If you're ever feeling that way again, REACH OUT, that's why we're all here.
(If you are like me having a chance is h#ll of a lot better than no chance at all.)
That's a fair thing to ask for!
(First, set an appointment with a professional T or C and start working on your problems. You may not think you have any problems, but it takes to tango.)
Absolutley, and it took us both years to get to that point, and there are changes she has to make as well. I can work on me (and firmly believe that whatever happens here, I will come out of it a better person). I would love for my next relationship to be with my wife, but if it's not, I will have learned from my own mistakes.
(Secondly, if you have not, you need to read DB/DR at least two or three times to understand what is actually being said. Third, I suggest your read "Men or from Mars and Woman are from Venus" and make an appointment with a DB coach. I would also read Dr. Phil book "Relationship Rescue" Fourth, GAL (Get a Life) and develop a PMA ( Positive Mental Attitude) this will go a long way in helping you cope with your emotional issues involving your sitch.)
Heading to the bookstore or Amazon later today!
(Make it from the heart.)
That's what I wish I'd known BEFORE, but what I DO get now.
(Please keep in touch. Feel free to post back if you should need to vent, crow, or ask a question or two.)
Thanks and likewise...
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
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