This guy understood very quickly what S12 is going through...and the pressure to perform and be "good enough." S12 is a really smart kid, always has had kind of a wisdom beyond his years..more of a deep thinker than your average kid (which is actually very hard for the poor kid). The C says he is obviously an emotionally intelligent person, and will be able to get something out of C for sure.
He says we are dealing with a "very powerful family system" with H's family. There is their way or the highway...about everything.
He made this cool analogy about city houses and backyards that are really narrow...(this is what it's like where we live)...and that some people always choose to stay in that back yard...and they don't even know there are places like a ranch in Montana, places with big sky...that the world is bigger than that backyard and that some people will continue to choose the backyard every time. Some people won't even believe that such a place as Montana exists. But it's S12's choice too...to "live" in that backyard or to find that bigger sky. He has a choice. To be who he is, is what he was trying to tell him...to break free internally from the pressure. And he talked to him about being grown one day...and he'd have to make those choices. He told me privately that he's trying to show him another way...that there is more than "the system". This is all tied into this larger substance abuse/control cloud over the entire extended family.
I had tears in my eyes. And really my heart felt kind of broken. I'm not going to turn 18 in six years. I'm going to turn 48. I don't have a get out of jail free card. I don't have any big sky. I don't have any choices.
I don't know if anyone reading this understands this "big sky" stuff...it might sound like gobbledygook to you...but I got it. (He said it better than I did, too, BTW.) It's so hard living with these oppressive people. So nice but so oppressive.
Just a vent....
I need to think about other things for a while I guess.
