dealing with infidelity after R

[garyjlost]

Thanks, Scotsman, for the advice.

Yes, I'm making a complete change in my life to be with my wife, and if she is still contacting the OM ... I've got to bring this out in the open. We have to have a written agreement, as you suggested.

I've drawn up a list of goals for the reconciliation, but my wife has delayed working with me to finalize the list. It's time that list gets finalized.

We've already made great progress on many of the goals, but we also have to come to agreement on a goal regarding my wife's partying with friends. I think I must be involved in these outings. However, these outings seem to happen on the spur of the moment. Hard to plan for or get a babysitter. I've got my hands full here. My wife's a party girl who now seems to be going through a mid-life crisis.

She likes most of the changes she has seen in me (less critical, less controlling, more positive, more involved in family activities, etc.), but this whole thing has caused by anxiety level to skyrocket. I'm now taking medication to get the anxiety under control. The drugs seem to be working. I've settled down. My wife seems more comfortable with me now and we've had a couple of really excellent dates.

But if the OM is still hanging around ... waiting ... everything is undermined.

Well, I had to deal with this sooner or later. Sounds like now is the time.

Thanks for the advice.