I don't think you are being blamed for her cheating, but you feel that you are based upon her actions. I'm sure she DOES feel that something was wrong with the marriage and is why she chose to "go there". I know, for me, the fact that my H takes a lot of the blame (even though I continue to tell him that it wasn't his choice and that IIII was the one that made the choice), makes it easier for me to focus on what I need to do rather than defend anything or explain anything. But, everyone is different.
I can take a guess......When you are away on vacation, the every day stuff is not there, the pain of the past is not there, it doesn't "hit home" as much because you are not home. When she gets back home, all of that baggage is there.....All of the triggers are there. I'm sure that EGF does NOT help. Little comments from EGF stating things that incinuate that she is only there in body and not mind and not with her heart keep her thinking that. EGF will remind her of all of the foggy things she said before. If she contacts OM at work, even if she isn't with him, it still keeps those "old feelings" simmering.
One thing to keep in mind is that your W was always moody, always stubborn, etc. You can't go on her moods to make life decisions about whether she wants to be with you or not. I have no doubt she wants to be with you based upon what you have told us. She is going to be moody. We all are. Women are.
Not sleeping together is not ok, and my guess is she knows this. I needed time. I didn't want to "fake" it. I wanted to have him hold me and like it. I wanted to kiss him and feel it. I needed to feel his love no matter what I did. How did I get to this point? By him loving me unconditionally and giving me time. I realize I am the one who screwed up and yet he was the one paying for it, but it was the only way. I had to get my heart where my mind was because I had it all confused.
