I screwed up again

[AnotherNightmare]

I think you are right on target, techguy. Detaching is the key, but it is also the hardest part.

When I think back to our problems 11 years ago, I believe the turning point that brought us back together was when I went out on a date. I had been devastated until then, much worse than now, when a friend of mine set up a blind date. I was not really open to anything, so my expectations were really low. But I think she realized I was ready to move on with my life and got interested again.

Of course, it is difficult to recreate the same kind of scenario now. But I recall a scene from Survivor a week or two ago, when one of the guys said something like "You don't need a gun in your hand, if they think you have a gun, they might give you a break." So I was thinking maybe I meet with a friend on a Friday or Saturday night and pretend it is a date. Also, spending time at the computer and being secretive about it - apart from the fact that is good for my mood and well-being to spend time on this board - might make her believe I am detaching faster than I really am. And it might actually help with the process when I read reassuring messages like yours.

I guess what also helps is that I am usually gone for 4 days during the week. The exception will the two weeks around Christmas and New Year's. They will definitely be tough.

AN