M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
This morning took H the football list. H calls me as I was pulling into his work, he said he will be there in 2 min. Was late again. He was more pleasant this morning than last night. Said he was so tired and fell asleep during the football game, then he didn't want to get up this morning. I said do you need me to call and wake you up? H said no, I was awake just didn't want to get up. I said I guess I was better at getting you up. H might have been late sometimes when he was living at home, but he has been late everyday that he has been there, last Wed, Monday and today. I had written him a note, incase he was already inside. It said, Good Morning, and that only 2 home teams won on Sunday's games. Then I told him I would call him with my dad's picks. I told him have a great day, then put a smiley face on it and signed it. Not sure why I did the smiley face, not my normal thing, but it just got there. LOL. I had made some more tarts, they were very good if I do say so myself. H hadn't liked yesterday's as well, to many pecans. H said they got eaten but he likes more goo, then crust or pecans. I told him these were damn good! H kissed me before he went in. I told him to have a good day. He said you too.
At least he got some sleep. I miss him in the morning being there next to me, but I have missed that for a while now.
Thanks MT. It is a good place. I am still very unsettled by the whole thing really. But not in a bad way. I know in my heart what is the right thing, and my head is pretty much there too. It is going to be wierd. We are still going to live with each other for as long as we choose to. Still partners, parents, friends. Just not H and W. I don't quite know how else to explain it but we both just feel it is right.
I wanted to say something earlier about it but with everyone else's stuff I couldnt. Was not totally prepared to talk to H about it when we did but... Then after Sunday night, I was calm but very very angry with H too. I had to process that yesterday. This time something that I find to be terribly cruel, occurred. Ow4, H said she is gay. He just let me think it was something to keep me on edge. For over a year. That was intentional pain. A friend said she may not be gay, and friend is right. I don't know this woman but she was a very good friend to H. But for him to be able to fix what was hurting me with 3 simple words, if they are true, and choosing not to, that was very wrong.
So that is where I am. Looking forward. Healing, watching H heal, and getting ready to see what is out there in this great big world. Thank you guys for being here. For helping me get to where I needed to be for this to be ok.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
hello sweethearts. Make it a terrific day. I am kinda saddened by your news kel. And I know you will tell me not to be (more than likely) but I am entitled to it anywayze. I hope you simultaneously heal with H.
Do all in the name of the Lord your God. Receive His peace and blessings.
I am glad for you Kel, that you have come to a place that feels right. That is important. I am excited for you and your new escapades that will follow for you I am sure. You are such a great person and friend. It is good that you too can still have fun and still enjoy being with each other enough to be friends.
T-not sad. Sad would be if it was a bad thing. But I"m getting my friend back and for me that is more important than any of the other stuff. I love H more than I can ever express in words. I always will. But the hurting has got to stop. For both of us. That really is the bottom line.
MT-Thanks. You all might just get what you wish for. H and I both think I should do some traveling in the spring/summer. We shall see where the wind takes me. Might just blow your way and we can have that margarita!
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
