Mules, my thoughts are what yours are; I can't figure them out.
Your W sounds like mine over the holiday weekend. We saw her Wed. morning before the kids and I left to go to my sister's for T-Day. Original plan was for me to have kids to her by 5pm for them to go to her family. W sent me a txt onT-Day morning letting me know that there was no need to hurry back; in fact if I wanted to stay another night, that was OK. We didn't see her or hear from her until Sun. Morning.
She came over the house, ate something, complained about feeling bad and went to sleep in my bed. later that evening, she put the Christmas Tree with help from the kids; but she was short and snippy to us the whole time. She blamed it on PMS; but she hurt our S7's feelings with one of her outbursts. I couldn't wait for her to leave and once she was ready she couldn't wait to beat feet out of there as well.
I also didn't miss my W one bit over the weekend; never had a moment of sadness. so why do I still want the marriage? Probably the same reason as you; to keep the family together. We are willing to sacrifice in order to provide that for our children.
I wouldn't look into the fact that you guys ate together as anything more than that. We've had family dinners occassionally and yet, I heard last night that she's getting her own apartment. Family times are nothing more than convenience for them at this point. that's my point of view anyway.
Hey MC - Thanks for the response. She look tired, depressed, and stressed. Felt sorry for her - but then again - this is the bed she made.
Whether someday she regrets her decision about me, IDK - but i know for sure she will regret the time missed with the kids and the damage done. Not my problem. That is going to be a scary place to be.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Yes, Mules I do believe there will come a day of reckoning when they will realize the damage they have done. It will be scary.
But no amount of talking to them by family seems to have any effect. My W is content with the time that she gets. I feel blessed that she hasn't taken the kids and run off. I cherish every moment I get with them.
Today was my birthday. My w made a pasta dinner and bought a cake at the store. She did not say the words "happy birthday" to me and wouldn't sing with the boys. Any thoughts anyone?? It was about what I expected from her but when I read back what I have written she sounds like she's 12 years old.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
{{{Mules}}} Definitely a mixed bag of signals during that weekend, "I want to be here", "I don't want to be here", I want to do stuff with the kids, I don't want to, I don't want you here, but then let's eat steaks and be nice..talk about a yo yo of emotions for you to ride the roller coaster..glad you decided to skip the roller coaster ride..as it sounds like you had a very good weekend
Hope you are having a good night
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Today was my birthday. My w made a pasta dinner and bought a cake at the store. She did not say the words "happy birthday" to me and wouldn't sing with the boys. Any thoughts anyone??
You can't always figure out a person who is in pain. They act weird, & give off mixed signals. She doesn't know what she wants yet. How could she express it to you ??
Hugs.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
