So last night H came home early from school. I was trying to make this elaborate dessert as a surprise for him. I said "it was supposed to be special." Then he said "you are a special girl." It was sweet though, not really sure how to describe it.
So I mentioned the trip, said thank you for agreeing, and asked if he was sure it was OK given how cold it would be (he'd wanted to go somewhere warm). He said yes. I said that I would buy a book and would love it if he could let me know if there were things he wanted to do, otherwise would just take our hosts' lead. I even said that I didn't want to be bossy on the trip. This was the closest I have come to initiating any kind of R talk/serious talk at all. He seemed slightly uncomfortable so I changed the topic and started talking abut pets in the Czech Republic. It was a weird segue, but it seemed to work. The trip, I am sure, is not a big issue. What I have been thinking about though is H's ring. He isn't wearing it, and I am not saying anything though it really bothers me. I wonder how he will feel going to see my ex without wearing a ring, or whether this could potentially be a catalyst for him to consider it?
I am slightly worried as he took sleeping pills last night. He seems more stressed than usual, but since he is not talking to me about things, I don't know why. I hope things are still looking up in his mind. It is weird to have a marriage where you don't talk about things, but since he's asked me to "slow it down a bit", and give him space, even if by email, I think he needs to be the one to initiate more. I just know that he felt like we weren't close before, and I don't know how to get this feeling of closeness back given the circumstances.
Oh well, I need to focus on the trip. This is a good thing...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
