She said she didn't want to tell me because she didn't want to hurt me
Oh man. And I know you told her its ok to tell you anything! But I know what you mean, I worry more about the kids too. The other day, someone asked how I was, and I said "I'm fine, its really about the kids now".
Oh and that is funny H conveniently left out the fact that you are getting a divorce and the eval would be a court document! Just last week my xH called to get me a percentage rate for my refi (on the house), and when I followed up with the guy today he was totally confused because he said xH talked as if we were married, called me his wife, and made it seem like it was just a normal refinance. Weirdos!
