Wanting her back is not slipping That is a big part of the reason you've done the work you've done on you. Of course you want her back. But you can't force it and if you do you are liable to go back to square one. I agree with tig here
Detaching from the situation is a tool which makes it easier to get this done. I disagree that detaching is a tool. My opinion is that detachment is an emotional and psychological place at which you will arrive in due time and you fake it til you make it meaning, separate yourself from all the drama! You're not detaching and you are being sucked back into the drama. Too much communication with too many people concernig their rendition of what is going on. That is counter productive drama. YEP! Detach! FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!
Slipping would be if you fold up right now after all the work, effort and time and give in to her OR let others suck you into the drama. Agreed. Stay out of the sitch between mother and daughter. Detachment can not be forced. But you can damn sure feign it until you come by it naturally!
Additionally, LD...every emotional upheaval is not a failure or a backslide so do yourself a favor and stop acting like it is. This process, wherever it's going, is EMOTIONAL. There WILL be peaks and valleys. In DB-speak, a backslide would be if you went to wife and started bitching and bawling and begging. You're not doing that. So take it easy on yourself. What you are going through is normal. It sucks, we all know. But the only way to the other side of this is THROUGH it, man. So just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are doing fine.
