Realizing that my ex was going through MLC for me to figure any of this out is unreasonable. He is in love with ow who is from another country and is younger. He vascilates from what he has done to what he blames me for to in love with ow and I did not understand and then he will say he did not appreciate what he had. From all that extensive reading that I have done I see that it is not at all anything to do with ME. It is in his head. He is depressed and for now she is helping him as a bandaid. Perhaps a permenant one perhaps not. The counsellor that I had commented to me that the best thing for me to do was to let him go and get the divorce. Right now he is in a place where he sees the marriage and all in it as only the negative. He wants to run from aging. Blames me for what he did not have and where he figures he should be now. Studying the steps he is in REPLAY. I pray that he goes beyond that. All I can do for now is go on with my life. Sadly for our teenage son this is occuring when he wants attention and sees his father with sports cars; pony tail; ow and does not want to be here with the family anymore. Wants excitment; take chances and live on the edge. A family life had in HIS MIND become boring and the thrill of a new woman and the chance of a younger one was ego boosting and in HIS MIND right now powering. There is a part of him that sees what he has chosen to do. HE will say things like I am not trying to replace you with the women I meet or have met. Then he will lash out at me. The best and only thing for me to do is no contact with him. Give him the time and chance to figure out what he really wants. If this is her, I have to accept it. If it is another I have to accept it. I have no control over another person's mind. I can only deal with me. My family and friends are very supportive. They judge his actions as heartless, cruel etc. HE admitted to me he was selfish. It was time for him now and I know he fought this. I can only PRAY that in time he finds the courage and strength to return. No it would not be the same as we will be different in many ways. Perhaps wiser and if it was ment to be. Then nothing will stand in its way. I just pray.
