NTL...IMO if you are observing and questioning yourself and your H's reactions then although this will take a little time - you'll find your balance - its very hard for someone from the outside to give advice on and no doubt, like many others have, you'll mis-judge.
one observation though - something for you t think about and it sort of captures your suggestion to me too...in my interactions with my W I try to make sure they are of top quality, satisfying and enjoyable for both sides...so often as we slide into married life day to day interactions become routine and mundane - so i think you might be able to find a balance between getting on with your life/GALing which, as a consequence will make you less available to him and having some very positive encounters with your H - which, as you have observed seem to pay dividends...and not surprising - folks want to be around other folks they get a buzz from!
On the disclosure side, I decided a while back that I had nothing to lose - actually i was finding it frustrating to keep covering my tracks and posting here in oblique terms - I was worried i wasn't getting the full benefit fof all the wonderful people here because I was spending too much time ensuring my W - the one who doesn't want me any more! and folks in Brighton, Ohio or Madrid wouldn't be able to figure out who i was so i thought - to hell with this and for me that's been ok. But i appreciate all sitches are different.
I have a feeling that my W does visit this board - I've certainly told her about it - if she does then - well, she's up to speed! If she hasn't, then well, part of me wishes she would...
There are some bits of DBing that could be taken as smoke and mirrors - i think its important to look for the intended message behind some of the elements of the DB approach - like I said above - I cannot and will not play games - in my marriage of late there's been enough deception.
I need to go soak my climbing arms!
KBO! - GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
