I am sorry I should be posting more but my mind is getting messed up. I have been doing well most of the time but I find as time goes on and she is coming and going it gets harder. She even admitted to sleeping over at her "older male Friend's" but she said that they are just friends. Now her mother who has supported me all along still supports me but now said to me " well at least she hasn't cheated on you" My W has her convinced now, that although it is inappropriate, nothing physical is going on. My mother in law is currently in an abusive relationship and has been for most of the marriage. So I guess if she can justify staying in that she will be able to justify the friendship with OM.
Now because of me opening my big mouth (we are still being friendly), but now she is unsure of the price of the house because of the markets. I still maybe able to purchase the house from her but I am having a hard time figuring out what I want.
On one hand a fresh start sounds inviting but I am not sure what price we are settling on and we have a big mortgage and little equity. |She wants to adjust the price and I may not have much to buy something right away. I do have the option of renting a room from my friend for three months then Rent a small (Really Small) basement apt from one of my best friends. It's in a great location though. She did suggest that I could keep the house and furniture for the original price we agreed on.
In the end I guess I have to stop being emotional and try to make a logical decision. If I move out and rent then it leaves it open for me to move back if things got better. Right now that doesn't look likely and I feel I need to take care of me now still being open to her. we both don't want to make this a fight but we both want a fair deal. My emotional side says she should pay me what I want because she walked out but the logical side says it's not worth it cut my losses and move on.
Some how I have to make a decision and git er done. I know no one can make the decision for me but I need a good kick in the @#$*!
she is going to look at another condo tonight and I suggested that we get another real estate agent to look at the house and give me a number.
I also have to decide if the reasons I wanted to stay were valid and if it is the right thing to do. Whatever I decide I will make it work, as long as I don't get financially screwed. She is being nice right now even suggesting that if the markets suck we can live in the same house till the spring. My feeling is no way can I live in the house with her if she is dating, and she will!
So perhaps I should bite the bullet get a real appraisal of the property and live with it.
Deep breath, ...........you asked for it that's a whole bunch of posts rolled up into one.
Your answer about memories helped because I guess as you paint etc. you make it your own. Time helps to!
I will take a break,
Jeff
ME 44 W 32 M 5 T 6
no kids
June 08 I don't want to be married it's not you it's me
