Grandma called me to let me know her phone was fixed. And she gave me some highlights of her 'talks' with W. She said she didn't bring things up that I had told her but asked W questions about her life and her decisions.
Some highlights:
W told G that I made her move out. When G asked why W said we had 'issues living together'.
When G asked her about 'dating' she changed the subject.
W was showing G pictures on her cellphone. When there was a picture of OM with a little boy she was babysitting she just said "That's my friend M and the little boy I babysit" and went right past it.
W told G how much happier she was now. No reference to me in any negative way. G said she honestly couldn't tell if W was really happy or not.
W told G I was turning things around financially. She said "Frank will do a lot better without me".
W told G that she liked being 'independent'. G told her that you should be able to be independent in a marriage and partners also. W changed the subject.
W told G how I've helped make sure she can spend time with the girls in the mornings and on Thursday and that she's grateful for that.
Grandmas take is this:
W was never independent, never had to take care of herself and feels like she needs to experience that 'independence'.
Still, Grandma says that form someone who wants a divorce she hasn't done anything about it. She says that W is keeping me around as her security blanket while she 'plays independent'.
G said avoiding talking about OM makes it seem like she isn't proud of her choices, and she shouldn't be because they're wrong.
She also agreed that I'm making it too easy for her to do things at the house. She said that she gave all that up when she took up with another man. Her suggestion is to make sure she doesn't participate in any holiday activities in the house.
G said I really need to let her go so she can grow up. She thinks the holidays are going to be hard on her. She also thinks that W is using me as a safety net which is just wrong.
She said, "Just treat her nice when you see her and if you have the patience and she sees how wrong she is to do this then she'll come back again like she has before. But by then you may not want her any more".
I'm amazed by the love this woman has given me and W. W has always been 'her angel'.
