You're right -- this is a tricky situation. If your intel sources are still in place, I'd be inclined to just drop it FOR NOW, and continue to work on your own self-improvements until intimacy has improved between the two of you. Do NOT do this unless you can confirm if/when she has more contact with OM.
But since your own issues in the marriage (your own distance, etc.) are long-term, I think you have awhile to go before you can begin to bring this up, in my opinion. If she starts having contact again, then let me know and I can suggest how to handle it, but for right now, as Ronald Reagan used to say about the Soviets: "Trust -- but verify."
