Nothingtolose, search for some people here with their DB names. By the way, I am Kalni Sunshine, nice to meet you!!
GFI, you do look greener day by day my friend. I think it is cruicial that you find the right balance. In my case, H would pull back when I did and come closer when I was friendly. This went on for several months with a few weeks as excemption. When he started to come around, he didnt wait for me to initiate anything, he would actually do it(he went for hugs, stayed longer at the house until I said it was time for him to leave with the kids, etc.). But that only happened after I completely detached and talked to him as someone I had business with (kids, schedules, CS, etc). Maybe the goal should be to get them used to have friendly, warm interactions with us (with NO pressure about the M) and then right when they feel they really like these interactions, pull back and detach completely.
I would be hesitant to advise how to proceed because only the persons invloved know the dynamics of the relationships. But at least, I can share that in my case, H seemed to wake up when he felt he had lost me. xxx K
