whoever put the list for ideas for kids at school was awesome! And it really sounds like d9 is underachieving gifted as well like my own son, and the school environment they are in just makes it worse. So those ideas will be very helpful
also SMW, I noticed that you said you didn't mention that the doc said the whole family needed to be together for d9, but...this is quoted from your email to H.
Quote:
I discussed treatment options and what needs to be done with the school to get her needed accommodations. D9's doctor also asked which parent she was closer to. I told him it was DH. HE said he was afraid of that, as it is going to complicate her therapy. Dr. asked if there was any way to reconcile my marriage. I told him that while I wanted that, the decision was out of my hands and in God's and DH's. Dr stressed that the best environment for D9 was at home, with both parents working together to raise her.
This really needed to be cut out of the email, I would have stopped at the who is D9 closest to. What was written after that is just blame and pressure. I know you want him to face this, but you can't make him face it. there hasn't been anything yet to show that he is ready to accept these kinds of pressure. And I know that you want him to get it, but if he's not ready, then it won't happen and it'll just push him the other way and I know you don't want that. I know that you think you want your H to stay in the M even if it was just for his D, but in reality that will not work. He needs to be in the M because he wants to be not because he is forced, otherwise that's what creates resentment.
I'm sorry to hear about the report for d9, but I'm glad that you have a diagnoses of some sort, and like you said, it's not as bad as you thought it could be, and I actually agree a bit with your H on the fact that so many children have adhd, especially boys. I believe it's our nutrition/society/environment that has created this along with diabetes. I mean really, think how differently we eat and how different our lives are now, including school.
I think it may be important for you to start being open to what your H is saying, because he does have a point. Now, what he is not doing is taking your opinion or the doctors, into consideration. But, remember, we can't control what they think, we can only control ours. It's easy for us to be so focused when we believe in something we think it right. I know, cause I do it too. But sometimes we can be TOO focused and miss something.
Has d9 tried the stuff I sent? I really hope you can get her too and see if you notice any changes before xmas, there are many testimonies for adhd. you can even freeze it into popsicles if that would help, just mix w/ another juice.
Here are a couple of websites to check out before you try the drugs during xmas. Drugs are always easier and for the most part work much quicker, but there are always side affects that we must take a risk for so if you can be patient and consistent, you can find great results trying natural ways where there are no side affects and it's actually fixing the problem, not simply masking the symptoms. But it does take more work and commitment.
I was also reading somewhere about making sure the child eats every 2-4 hours as their brain doesn't handle the blood sugar highs and lows as well, especially if they eat sweets, pop, high sugar cereals, those kinds of things. Their body produces a bunch of insulin to combat the high sugar intake so then they have a huge high and low and their body can't handle that, thus irritability, aggression, emotional havoc takes place. I have found this to work for my own child as well and when he starts "freaking out" I'll remind myself, give him some protein!
I hope that you are able to find what works for her and I will pray it is revealed quickly to you.
call me anytime.
OMG Crissy! I hit panic mode,cause I KNEW I did not send that to DH, and then wondered if I had, since I have been so tired and busy with school.
No, that was NOT in the email I sent DH!!! Here is the email I sent him!
Quote:
DH--
I spoke with D9's doctor. It would be a lot easier to explain this over the phone than it would be to type it all out, and I am still trying to digest it all myself.
Asperger's has not been completely ruled out. The only thing holding them back on an Asperger's diagnosis is her willingness to engage in conversation and make eye contact.
She has a frontal lobe development delay. They think this is tied to her early birth and failure to thrive when she was a baby.
They also believe she has ADD and anxiety disorder, both of which are complicated by the fact that she is incredibly intelligent--she tested in the 92% for 9 year olds. There are other issues that are causing her challenges with the anxiety, too, since she absorbs everything around her like a sponge with an adult intelligence but still only has a child's emotional capacity.
I discussed treatment options and what needs to be done with the school to get her needed accommodations.
I have not discussed it with D9 yet or what it means, but I will over the weekend. I want to find the right words so that she understands that she is not weird or broken.
It is late and I need to get some sleep. It would be easier to explain everything over the phone. Call when you have the free time to talk. However, it would be easier for me to talk if it was late in the evening our time--after 10--as I do not have to worry about the kids and being distracted.
smw
WHEW! The other was in an email that I had sent to a friend the same night. I copied and pasted the wrong one to the forum. MEA CULPA! I was so scared I screwed that one up!
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
