Signs to say WAW woke up?

[AmyC]

Already been all over that site, father's rights sites, spoke with attorneys, the whole nine yards.

Only 2 ways to get her off, she gets her own and provides a statement of benefits as proof or finalized divorce.

FIL took the news ok as I told him she has commited herself to her choice and I will no longer be the caretaker of her belongings nor bear the financial burden of a life she left behind.

Ok.

[dday101798]

Well, committed to staying in the house until at least July now. Got a unexplainably high water bill that needs to be paid by next Friday so that really means no christmas if paid, so worked a deal out with FIL and agreed tostay for now.

Only spoke to W for 12 minutes on Wednesday night, all she could say was how adimant she is on getting the D rolling in Jan. SO, if she does go through and does get custody and support, well, then July will come a lot sooner. She's so warped in the head now that all this time the main concern has been to make sure her father doesn't get 'screwed' with the house, now her thought is just , o-well he'll put it up for sale.

Yeah, ok in this market and time, that'll go over real well.

Anyway, had a nice Thanksgiving with the boys. A bit too much talk of W from the family then I would prefer though. I did call FIL to ask him if he would tell the rest of the in-laws I wish them a Happy Thanksgiving and was informed they won't be having a dinner get together this year with everything going on. Heh, pretty interesting.

OH! Loophole on the insurance, employer is switching providers January 1st, guess who's not getting a card?

[dday101798]

So you know what they say, it's not over til everythings signed right?

Well, one step closer. W and spoke yesterday about everything. She has put her case together and everything should be in motion soon, she says she's taking the boys as 'sole provider', I pay 28% child support, can see them when I want, pay for their insurance and that she is moving away and pulling them from the schools since living elsewhere, won't say where and I neglected to ask what her grounds are.

Albeit, she still doesn't realize, the kids WILL have their say in who they wish to stay with, so....

Had a great weekend, Saturday, my 11 yr old son and I cleaned up the yard in preperation for today's snow. A frined, who just so happens to be female stopped by and ended up helping us and stayed for dinner which my other 10 yr old made. He wasn't so happy about making pasta salad, but when it came down to making burgers on the grill he was in his glory. W freaked when I told her he grilled, I never even let HER use my grill.

So, back to the day by day way of life until this is over with. W still says she wants to just file "our" own papers, versus going through the attorney and cleaning me out, I told her , hey, this is your thing, do what you will. Kind of releaved now, but felt like a ping pong ball last night between knowing what's going on now and getting upset over the possibility of having the kids taken away.

On a positive, my cousin I had Thanksgiving dinner at has her oldest son moving out this week, and we talked of the possibility of me staying there if need be to get on my feet and she's absolutely cool with it.

[AmyC]

I can not fathom for one second why you think it's okay to let her call all the shots if she is living the way you have described her to be living all this time.

You must have left some very serious stuff out of your story.

[dday101798]

SHE's the one the wants the divorce. SHE's the one that wants to tear a family to shreads. I'VE done all I can all the way down to flat out telling HER when I see SHE is unsure if SHE's doing the right thing or not, that despite all SHE has done, leaving, OM and all, I want HER to come home.

SHE has chosen to continue to live a legacy of HER life, to cheat, abandon and leave EVERYONE SHE has been with in HER life.

Why do a capatalize anything that refers to W? This is what she wants, it's that simple. You once told me I was so full of "self-centerness". Well, if saying, piss on your family, piss on a man who has put you first before anything because you're just bored with him and now take hime to the cleaners after you've found something "new and exciting" isn't self centered, I don't know what is. Would you fight to want a person in your life like that anymore?

[dday101798]

Lastly,

Maybe it will take being there in the 'final hour' as I am about to sign my life away for her to realize what she's losing out on, highly unlikely, but as other situations on these boards have demonstrated, that is a possibility.

[AmyC]

SHE's the one the wants the divorce. SHE's the one that wants to tear a family to shreads. I'VE done all I can all the way down to flat out telling HER when I see SHE is unsure if SHE's doing the right thing or not, that despite all SHE has done, leaving, OM and all, I want HER to come home.

SHE has chosen to continue to live a legacy of HER life, to cheat, abandon and leave EVERYONE SHE has been with in HER life.

Why do a capatalize anything that refers to W? This is what she wants, it's that simple. You once told me I was so full of "self-centerness". Well, if saying, piss on your family, piss on a man who has put you first before anything because you're just bored with him and now take hime to the cleaners after you've found something "new and exciting" isn't self centered, I don't know what is. Would you fight to want a person in your life like that anymore?

I wasn't referring to fighting for HER anymore.

I was talking about your children.

[dday101798]

Well, as I said, they will ahve their input.

From what I understand, the court will research on it's own to determine if the 'requested' situation is suitable for them, ie, finances, living conditions, and most importantnly, the child's desire.

So, that may be my 'ace in the pocket' so to speak. My 10yr old has all but flat out said he does not want to go with her, my 11 yr old, well the 'momma's boy', I'm not sure, although when my friend was over on Saturday, I was all he would talk about, which to me comes as a complete surprise, so you never know.

Even if things do pan out in "her favor", I know it won't last long and one by one, they'll be back.

[dday101798]

Okay, completely confused here.

W disregards my request on Sunday to stop calling my 'house-mates' phone to tell the boys to go by her house and does so yet again.

My female friend made a very nice gesture and stopped by and dropped off some groceries i could not afford to by the other day when we were out shopping. Apparently this seems to spark a sense of jealousy or something to W as she calls me on her brother's phone (supposidly hers is broken) and begins another hour and half session of dragging out the dirty laundry all over again.

At this point I keep asking, what's the point in this? You're "engaged", you've filed, you're taking my kids, of which, you said yesterday you wanted to have them over tonight because you hadn't seen them all weekend, but yet instead of being with them you'd rather go round the same circle with me on the same old 'blame game' and now accuse me of having a "live-in girlfriend" but yet SHE is the one that HAS someone else in her life and DOES live with them? So what IF I did?

I don't know if she hung up or the phone died but the conversation was 'non-heated' as good be and as always netted no results.

I don't understand the point, she's checked out, we're in the final turn of the last lap of the race and I'm ten cars back, why start the fight?

Anyway, the "main" reason for the call was supposed to be about what would happen with the boys for the night, she said she wanted them to stay but would have to drop them off at 4am. I told her no way, it's a school night, be a parent, parents make sacrafices, much like I did this morning and came to work late so I could take care of them and see them off to school.

I don't know what happened over there but they were 'dumped' off at 9:30, my 10 yr old had urinated himself, and when they saw I had not put the left over dinner away they proceeded to dive in like a pack of starved animals. The whole purpose of them being there was FOR DINNER!

I am tempted to call her out on this, I really want to know what the hell happened over there. 10yr old says he had his coat on and didn't realize when he was using the bathroom before leaving that he didn't have his pants down all the way. That kid has been particular about anything on him since he was knee high to a squirrel. S@%t don't add up.

This is completely confusing now and comical that IF I did have something serious going on, what's the big deal? Why the jealousy over someone who just so happens to care does a unasked friendly deed and has kept me in in good company through a difficult financial crisis this weekend?

[AmyC]

I guess if you're really concerned about what goes on over at your wife's place when the kids are there, you'd take steps to limit the time they are there legally as opposed to just letting her take off with them as she has stated she intends to do.

Why'd you listen to an hour and half long session of her dragging out the dirty laundry anyway?

I mean, why would you keep beating a horse if you really thought it was dead?

Call bullsh*t or cut it loose.

Playing in the gray area for much longer in your case is gonna screw up your kids.

Make a decision like a man

Quit pissin in the wind

Take care of your children

And quit letting the woman that cheated on you and left you to become a swingin' party girl dictate how and where your children are going to be raised.

What is it that you are really afraid of?

Call it out and deal with it.