I was hoping you would post something. What you said is a good way to look at it.
To me, I feel that what I have done is so awful that even though I am remorseful now and have learned, I have no right to forgive myself. I know that is bad thinking, but it is what happens in my head.
It's like if I was a murderer.....and then realized,later, I was ill and that it was wrong...how could I ever forgive myself for taking someone's life?
I go to God. That's all I can do. It's all that matters. He has a plan for me. My eyes are open now, where they were shut to so many things before. So many things that mattered to me, I now realize mean nothing. I view the people around me differently. I cherish every small thing that happens in my world. Today, I found myself looking out at the snow and just thinking how beautiful God made our world for us. I look at our newly cut Christmas tree with all of the decorations and think how lucky I am to have these beautiful things all around me. I sinned a great sin...maybe that was God's plan...Now, it is up to me to forgive myself for having to sin in order to accomplish His plan.
Boy, just writing that out has helped me. Thank God for this forum and all of you.
