F, There are loans. Yes, you would like to have her go and not incur any, but in fact going to a private school IS a privilege.
I don't like the way your W went about things, but there is a contract for your D. I think it is great that she has figured out a way to get As and Bs, which could lead to some privileges, but there should also be a consequence for not following up with the counseling. Her stealing and being out all night shows that she does still need that. Other than ripping her away from her school (which does not serve the purpose), what can be a LOGICAL consequence? She is already barred from going into her mother's house....maybe it is taking out a loan to pay for part of school? Hell, offer her a "bonus" if she goes to counseling! She obviously would like more money...or it could be that skiing that she wanted (you will have to tell W that if she wants to see real change in her, skanky can't undermine either of you for PAYING for stuff that she hasn't earned! No more cars or ski trips!!)
It could also mean that she does have to transfer to UCONN, and tell her why. But make it about her actions, not the divorce. Because she can take out the loans if she really wants to stay there. Making it about the divorce is really more about your anger over the sitch than her behavior...
Good luck today! It might be worth a call to your L BEFORE you go, just to run through a couple of the ideas that you have. Be prepared (said the Girl Scout)
