You said you think A needs control. I also think A presently has control and you have really attempted to honor his need for control. The consequence of that imbalance could certainly offer a sense of angst and uncertainty. That is why it is so important that you find confidence in those areas that you do have control!
Whether in job performance, friendships, other interests, spiritual pursuits, or education - trying to balance your life so you do have a sense of accomplishment and healthy control is very important at this point. This time in your relationship could make anyone feel helpless. Reminding yourself that you are a confident and strong woman - that is who you are after all, right? - needs to be pursued in other areas at this time.
Regarding the comment about sitting him down and talking to him, you certainly can do that at anytime. You can decide (after weighing the pros and cons and deciding if it worth if for you) that at any time you have that control over the relationship!
By the way, power/control differences probably exist on some level (and that's not all bad) in most relationships. But, as you are honoring A's need for control (and not pursuing him to clarify what he wants relationship-wise), there is less communication, therefore less ability to understand what he needs from you right now. So, it makes sense you'd have a hard time knowing how to get close to him right now. It seems that as long as you are dedicated to be patient and then watching for opportunities to connect with him - that may be all that is in your control in this R right now.
As you said, there is more connection now than before. So, there are more opportunities to make those moments you do have as positive as possible. So, my support as you seize each moment you've got, JoJo!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
