Had an OK time at "the ranch" for the 4 day weekend. Had some "heavy" talk on Wednesday on the drive to session with C. This was brought on by S17 ditching school and making poor choices and it took 2.5 hours to make the drive (normally 1 hr). Only ended up with half hour session with C, all with S17.
Then on Thursday morning had more talk about S17 regarding him finally telling H during "guy time" how he really had been feeling about H's actions lately. Not a fun conversation for H, but he seemed to handle it well. Thursday evening I got annoyed at H for his "ignoring" me. He wasn't really but was so stand-offish, it felt like it. H said he was trying but wants to go slow, which I understand and agree with, but I am a very affectionate type person and I miss little minor displays of affection so much!! I'm not talking about a lot! Just a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye and hello and stuff like that. But H isn't there at this point and that hurts. And then I get mad at myself again because he's the one that left and cheated and why should I even want any affection from him!!!????
The rest of the weekend (Fri - Sun) we had no "heavy" talk at all. I did my best to ignore H's cold attitude, but sometimes it got to me and I'm sure H knew it. But I tried to let it go.
I was also thinking that I really need to be practicing my meditation every day. I haven't been very diligent at it, and I think it would help me to let some of these things go more easily so the emotions don't build up. Hopefully that would help me with my patience!! I definitely need help with that!!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
