And I'm Still Learning

[JWM]

Beth, don't forget to try the Krav Maga classes. It is great to be able to hit something...handles the anger phase just right.

[VeronicaV]

Tawnya,

Thank you for saying such nice things about me. But I am not any good at this. I don't know what I am doing. I just want it all to stop now.

I think I took my rings off too soon. I think that is why I am have this surge of emotions. Apart from the holiday, I had been pretty even until I did that. It makes it so real. So does that mean I am not ready to accept what is really happening to me. Is that what all of this is??? Just smoke and mirrors until I cannot deny what is happening any longer?

I am crying lots tonight but I decided that is okay. I read that the chemical make up of sad tears is different from that of happy tears. Sad tears help rid the body of toxins created by grief. Not sure whether that's true, but it sounds good.

[Tawnya]

The crying thing sounds good to me, I am a "super cryer" too..I know basically it's a good release for your body for sure.

Beth..none of us know exactly what we are doing about this most of the time..I mean that's why we cling to each other and to the DB book, because it makes sense, because it gives us hope, because we need something to help us thru this crazy, chaotic time we never expected to have!

As far as the rings go..I dunno about that one..I mean it is tough to accept something you don't want to accept..but, it could be a combo of the holiday, the rings, life in general, the dreary day..

Do I think this is smoke and mirrors until you can't deny it? No..because really you've NOT denied the fact that a) your marriage, as you know it, is done NOT to say you can't have another marriage with your same husband, but better, so you don't end up back here in the first place. b) you have figured out you can't change your spouse, so the only person you can change is YOU..taking care of you, finding what works and doesn't work for YOU..

I know I'm probably not helping too much, but don't lose sight of the fact of how far you've COME forward just because of having a down day..give yourself a break..you can pass thru the "self pity land" but just don't camp out there

Tawnya

[JWM]

Beth, when I cry, it is always better after. It's like a release. Does it feel that way to you?

[VeronicaV]

Tawnya and JWM

Thank you both. Tawnya, you did help me and you always help me. JWM, I do feel better for having cried.

I am feeling a bit better now, more stable. I do know that I am doing my best and that will just have to be enough.

Thanks again to both of you.

Beth

[sandi2]

Hi Bettou, I have read several of your posts to people and you sound like a very smart lady to me. Don't beat yourself to death for having a down day. You all would have had to burry me so many times if I did that....

You are going to be a big help to a lot of people around the board, so I hope you will stick around a long time. Holidays are tough on some people who aren't going through M problems, so it is reasonable that it would be difficult for those who are. I get depressed easily and really have to fight it, so I certainly understand pity-parties. Have had serveral in my day and still hold one from time to time. Holidays can bring up memories (good memories) and instead of feeling happy....dang it if we don't get all down in the dumps about it.

Anway, I hope you get to feeling better soon. But I had been meaning to tell you that I respected what I had read on the posts you've been sending out to others. Keep up the good job.

Take care,
Sandi

[VeronicaV]

Sandi,

Well, that is quite a compliment coming from you, thank you so much. I have read a lot of your posts to people and you always have incredible insight and advice to offer. But even more than that, it is so clear that you really want to help people.

Thank you for taking the time to write to me and to tell me you think I can help people. That really makes me feel better.

Beth

[nw626]

Beth
Sorry to see you have rough couple days.
Detaching takes time. I am still far far away that I need to be.
Like Sandi said, give yourself a break. You have come a long long way. Trust me, if you read back some of your old posts, you will see you have made tremendous amount of progress already.
Dance class is not bad idea at all. I think one of the guy here takes Salsa dance class and it helps him a lot.
I guess any kind will work.

How's that 'Abs of steel' going?
Did the Magic Bullet blender arrive yet?
I shipped that out last week...LOL

Better days are coming...you can do this.

NW626

[Tawnya]

{{{Beth}}} Good morning..how are you doing today? I hope that today is a WONDERFUL day for both of us today

Did you ever work out yesterday?

Tawnya

[VeronicaV]

NW626,

Thanks for the kind words. I am still waiting for that magic bullet...how is the visit with your son going?

Tawnya,

Thanks for checking on me, I am okay today. I did have a workout, but no run.

Fortunately, work is picking up so I should stay pretty busy today. That always helps.

Beth