Just stopping by- sounds like things are going really well and are on an upward spiral! I love that H called you cute this morning- so positive and normal. FAB!
Keep going. I hope you manage to get away for Xmas.
I'm feeling like things are "normal" again. Fingers crossed that there are no R talks for awhile! He called me the "sweetness" tonight too when I told him I was making one of his favorite meals.
Anyway yes I really hope we manage to get away for Xmas or at least for New Years! Actually I'm more concerned about New Years. H is Jewish so Xmas is not that important to him, and for me it's only 2 days off of work, but New Years symbolizes a lot, so I really want it to be special :).
Thanks for your support!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
I replied on FB and will reply on your thread as well...
All,
Daily journal here, nothing much to report since I last posted. I made a really elaborate meal last night, and H was pretty sweet about it. I had to buy a lot of groceries, so he offered to go to the store with me. Sounds small, but any time that he does a small kindness for me now, I am a bit shocked. I told him to stay behind and play video games instead. So he said the food was amazing, and mentioned some recipe I should get from his grandma (good sign again that he sees me being around his family). We watched a movie and I heard from my ex again about spending the holidays in the Czech Republic. This time I told H, and he still seemed interested, but I got the "we'll see." Thing is that this will need to be definitive as we have only 1 month 'til New Years and we are potentially staying at someone's house. I think H is afraid that I will dominate the vacation and make him do everything that I want to do. I hope he will take the risk as this is my opportunity to do a 180, and also for us to be around another couple, even if it means staying in my ex's GF's family's house(sounds weird doesn't it?!). I may bring it up again the next time it seems that H is in a really good mood and just mention that flight prices are going up and so I was hoping to book sooner, but that if he doesn't mind paying a bit extra, we can decide later.
Today I need to focus on work. H has school tonight. I just pray that he doesn't send me more emails from school.
OK off to work, but will post later.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
I am glad that things continue to be positive. It is very helpful for me to read something good right now! Had a horrible night sleep, as expected. Keep up the hard work on your part. It is paying off.
Me-36 H-30 T-7yr, M-3yr DivorceBusting Saved my marriage! sep 6-08 to 12-08. Together again, things are good!
Today I feel like he is being a touch more distant, but I think it's partially because I am really excited about this holiday thing and want to lock it down. Last night I was a little bit mean in bed, i.e. he would say things to tease me and I would respond that if he was saying something positive, I knew it was a joke. Anyway, I know I can't push. My ex just added me to Skype and we were talking for a long time and he and his GF REALLY want us to come...it's all I can do not to call H now and ask him about it. In the normal world, I would do this. In bizarro world, I will have to play it by ear and see if I get a positive sign later on. If he does reach out and says something nice, I think I will bring it up...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
So I just couldn't contain myself today, was so excited about the possibility of going to the Czech Republic for the holidays. I'd talked to my ex on Skype for about an hour, and he was doing the hard sell.
I wanted to talk to my H soooo much about this, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. So I IMd him and asked what he wanted for dinner tonight, sort of a typical question actually as I always cook. Then I made a joke, and he joked back, so I took the opportunity. I mentioned how my ex had contacted me again and how he and his GF were really excited about the possibility of us coming. He said "I'm fine with going, but only for a few days." This was because they really wanted us to come for a week at least, and we have no vacation days. It's hard to see on IM whether he is enthused or giving in to me, but from his first reaction in person, I do think he is happy about it if nervous. It will be low stress in my opinion as we will be staying with someone who is local (Ex's GF), and will not really have to do planning or anything else.
So once we have actually purchased the tickets I will feel better, but now have to be careful to ensure that H does not feel bulldozed into this. I told him on IM that this trip would be about whatever he wanted to do, so I think I will get a book on the Czech Republic and ask him to see whether there are specific things he would like to do.
This is very weird, but good weird.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Maybe dont go ahead and book, but see how he is when he gets home? At least he said yes though!! Wow, things are steadily improving and great that he called you sweetness and also offered to do a few things to help with the cooking/shopping.
It is wierd that you might be spending it with your ex, but I presume your H is sooo not bothered by that?? And you all get on well? So happy that you have got this far, and making Christmas plans, as opposed to separating !! Yay!!
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Yeah I won't book before talking to him more. I'd suggested we do a speaker phone call with my ex tomorrow. He didn't seem thrilled with the idea but I want to make sure he has a say in how things are done. I'll try to feel him out tonight. He is sooooo not jealous of this ex. Thing is we first met when I was dating the ex and he knew it wasn't really passionate. I didn't break up with ex for him or anything, but we were just good friends. It's been 8 years now anyway. The fact that he has a very serious girlfriend only helps too. Actually I have never met this GF and ex and H met only once while I was dating ex :). It's all very weird but somehow it seems right. Let's just see what H is like tonight I guess.
So I still get nervous every day. Things do seem to be progressing but I tend to dwell on little paranoias from time to time. Today it was that he didn't reach out much to me on IM. I am always afraid of more emotional emails too. I am going to have to get over this though. I guess this takes time.
Anyway thanks for your support. Hope to have more positives to post later.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Wow...I wonder off for a few days and come back to all this good news!!! I am so happy for you!!!
Just keep up with the 180s and try not to push the trip, I know you are very excited but you have worked so hard!! Do not come across pushy. Good Luck!!
Just keep positive and menatlly picture yourself with H in the Czech Republic canodooling and having a great time.
