\:\) This is what I meant by "doing it all the way". When you go back and forth, the times you pull back just don't mean much. YOu may as well not do it. WHen you move in, she is close to you and nice, etc. but she is still not "with you". The comment about taking care of herself........there is some strength in that feeling....I remember thinking how I hadn't ever done that. I went from my parents to my husband. She is probably feeling some strength. I also wonder if she meant that OM doesn't take care of her??? Who knows. Anyway, my thought is either you back off all the way, the way it would be if you were divorced to show her......or, you keep staying close and start having those R talks again and retro talks, talk about the email, etc. But, you can't do this "middle thing" or you are going to be the nice, divorced husband that understands and "has a good relationship even though we are divorced".