WAW - Possible MLC I need help, WAWs advice II

[thrillisgone]

LD - Anger will come and go and is not only normal but healthy as long as you don't let it consume you. Internalizing your anger results in depression and passive aggressive behavior. It is O.K. to feel anger...you have a right to be angry. Just use that anger as fuel to do something productive. I still wake up angry some days. Angry at the loss of my marriage, the betrayal, the lies, the financial impact etc etc. I also realize that my ExW is going through her own hell and she didn't ask for it. She can't control her behavior anymore than I can. So temper that anger with some compassion and detach from her. Doesn't mean you don't love her..it only means that you are the strong one and will continue on with your life with strength, dignity, understanding and compassion. You also will not be run over and used as a door mat.

Sadness? that will come and go too. I still shed tears on occasion over what has happened. It is good to really feel thoses feelings. Men who don't, turn into alcoholics, have premature health problems, beat their wives, and generally screw up their lives and all of the peoples lives around them.

So go ahead and feel those feelings. Have a good cry. Get pissed off and use that energy at the gym or paint the house or whatever. The emotions become less intense with time. Come here and vent.....

You're going to come out of this stronger, wiser and with more compassion and understanding than you ever believed possible.

Remember that your W didn't plan this or ask for this and she isn't doing this to purposefully hurt you. She can't help herself anymore than you can help her.

You're doing everything you can. Nobody can ask any more of you. This truly isn't about you or the marriage. If it were she'd be right there with you working on the problems.