Had a fine day with my S11 today - it was just the two of us - and we made the most of it. This morning he made the pancakes - and did a great job...next time he's going to cook the eggs as well...we then got him his first computer - which just seemed like a good idea, since he has to use it more and more - and now he'll be able to video chat with me and his little brother when he's not here...
This afternoon, my S11 and I went to a pickup soccer game - and he just dazzled the other adults there...who were definitely skeptical about having him play when they first saw him...he is a little guy...but, my goodness, he's just fearless and inexhaustible. We play for two hours straight - and then just came home and collapsed...well...sort of collapsed...I still had to make dinner...
So that was the day - the two of us making the most of it - and me quietly realizing more and more how my life often seems more relaxed and happier without my W...hard to come to terms with that idea...and I wonder if it's just some sort of defense mechanism at times - but I think it more and more...It's not that I don't miss the happy times with her - there were many, and they were very happy...I just wonder now if they were enough...and I caught myself thinking today...that maybe I just don't want her back anymore...
