Hi - always reluctant to give advice but I`ve now read your thread and would like to say that I think you`re too available to your wife. For example, great that she came over for tea and cakes, but what would it have been like if you'd said something like: "Sure, come on over, but something has come up for me at the last moment so I`ll have to push off by (time)." That way, you end the contact, not her. And it wouldn't hurt for her to see you leaving the house looking like you might be dressed for a casual date. This is the kind of thing that one of the DB coaches recommended. Oh, yes, and as you are leaving (having been the one to end bring the visit to an end), you could say something like "that jumper (or whatever) really suits you". The idea (according to the DB coach) is to be friendly... like a good neighbour kind of friendly... but create a bit of positive tension by not being too available.
