Yeah, it's great that they are all 'disappointed'. It doesn't change the situation though. And in the end we're the ones who bear the burden of the pain. LBSs are NOT the only ones that bear the burden of the pain. This thing has tentacles that reach out and harm multiple members of both sides of a family. So don't be so arrogant as to think you are an island, Frank. The reverberations reach both far and wide. Sure you are the one that feels the pain the worst but you are not the only one. All the WAS has to do is compartmentalize their life "ALL"???? Well for one, compartmentalization is not a friggin choice. It's another symptom and quite possibly a psychological necessity at certain points in a WASs journey so don't knock, or mock, an aspect that isn't fully understood. .
So they can be 'happy'. Because they deserve to be happy and well, we don't This sounds like you're saying she should have stayed to make you happy and just allowed herself to remain miserable. NEWSFLASH Frank, you WEREN'T HAPPY with her there and you're not happy with her gone. Hopefully you will find happiness in yourself now though, as it should be. . Or at least they shouldn't have to do anything for us or the kids She is TRYING to "do" for the kids, in the only way she knows how so stop being so damn condescending. . Just for themselves Right - and she gets all the bells and whistles that go along with "doing" for herself, too. She gets the guilt, the ostracization of her family members as well as the emotional baggage that comes with having left her children and add to that the financial burdens and the fact she doesn't even have a place to call her own. Her life is a picnic, MY ASS! SO WHAT if she got all that by choice? YOU DON'T KNOW what can be born out of this experience so you really need to stop acting like you have a crystal ball. Just tend to yourself and you might find you'll quit getting so pissy when she obviously doesn't uphold some secret expectation you've had because you were nice again. And that IS why you get pissy, Frank. You clearly still have some kind of expectation in your heart each time you interact and/or do something nice for her. Like you expect she will jump up and throw her arms around your neck and declare undying love and devotion. Stop it. She's out there growing up. Let her. It doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate the kindness you show her. It just means SHE AIN'T DONE. .
Even though I understand the selfishness and sickness it doesn't make it any better Selfishness I'll buy but a woman is not automatically "sick" just because she wants out of her marriage. We've previously defined your wife as having a life CRISIS. With her upbringing, etc...that's believable. But it doesn't make her sick. It makes her confused & immature but not necessarily "sick". .
She dropped off the kids and gave me my Prius key. Thanked me for letting her use it and left fairly quickly.
Anyway, this is the last time I'll down cycle. I'm done and I'm turning my back on her. Not with anger, just indifference. Bullcrap. You're nowhere near "indifference". Good luck to her and her life. You need to not try to stifle your anger anymore because it's leaking. Talk with your counselor about this, Frank. You don't have to be all calm, cool, rational, understanding and gracious all the time. In fact, we ALL know that you are not. So deal with the anger. Otherwise you are going to have serious issues later.
