untying a few knots #9

[Babygirl]

ok carpenter gotcha! thank you!! actually its great advice.
JWM yes its alot, so much since last tuesday, i finally quit after last nite pinching myself to make sure this wasnt a dream sigh.
thanks Kel. I cant wait to hear what you think. the boundaries are ok, need a real plan for it tho if i can make this work.

this morning at church, great again, about sin, giving into tempation, straight from adam and eve. more than that ofcourse. but I had already had it arranged, to go with her to the altar with some great people who have walked my walk, i think i realized sometime late last nite, that my inability to forgive the first 2 affairs, helped push him into the sitch we are now. we prayed, we cried, I begged for strength, his guidance, and forgiveness. H sat where we had sat, I cant imagine it was fun for him to watch. but this afternoon, as i want to finish my love dare book, working on a dare,(dont know WHEN he will get it, but doing one i hadnt) writing him a letter, before i got to the love dare part, I had wrote 3 pages front and back, about this ordeal, and i didnt cry, didnt feel the urge, THAT is weird. or maybe i am forgiving a little, idk, its just a weird feeling. I even reread the 3 emails he had sent and didnt cry with those.
I dont know WHAT is going to happen with my marriage. but one thing I have taken out of the emails that he sent on my last post, which i dont know how to get here to ya'll, is the changes he had seen in my, that made him fall back in love, and feel the need to come clean. that is from what i have been doing with the dbing, the love dare, and god, and you all here. HE did notice, and thats what makes him want to work us out if I can. we shall see if his words hold true, i aint that stupid to not fall into what they will do or say right after they bomb us, BUT the examples of things he told me last nite when i asked why, WERE from god, and the dbing.
love you all