finally here. long nite up til after 4 church at 9 family thanksgiving in hometown at 12. its freezing here and so windy, snow flurries no accumulation. ok heres what he said. when i asked for proof of paternity, he said the others took them, he didnt so it had to be his. whatever, he will take one, trust me, one he tells his mother, she will make him, and pay for it, he said I will have to ask ow about that, i said well, if she says no, then theres your answer. he says i know, i said you dont til proof says. altho he does look identical to H at this age. he said it started because he said I didnt want him, i guess in the right way sexually, she wanted him, so off they went. he doesnt remember the lie he told me, to get to go there, other than he was fixing someones care, so basically she paid him with sex. GAG me. it has been off and on since then til not to recently. GAG. I asked him why he told her he loved her and if he really did, his answer? idk. i dont think so. i said well, until you know you dont you wont be any where near me. he admitted he lied since he came back home last year, and didnt want to be here, but stayed for my health. wtf? I specifically told him not to do that! heres where it gets bad and i really have to think. he said he has NEVER BEEN ABLE TO BE FAITHFUL. his daughter is also the product of him cheating on his girlfriend. that i said is going to be a problem, because i will NEVER share again. he said the past few months he has fallen back in love with me, he admitted that he does believe she has something to do with all the crappy emails, but it isnt her every time, I said I already said that to you before, BUT its someone she has do it as they always know to much. and that he said is why he does believe me, and that has help to open his eyes, and the moment we can prove its her, he promises its on. we shall see. she does love him, and does want him there, she is angry that I didnt kick him out and he is still here. and actually, we talked about space, and i said, if he moved out, he was done, she would prey, and he killed the trust factor. if he wants space we can sleep in seperate rooms. I told him idk exactly what to do, what does he want, he says he thinks he wants this, us and he is so sorry. i said in order for that to happen, we will have to have some more conversations about this, obviously we cant do a NC now, will await puppydogtails and others to help me with some great boudaries, i did say, no more secret phone call crap. if she calls, he needs to talk to her in front of me, and no more lying and sneaking around. he wouldnt be able to go there and stay over even for ethan. it was gonna be me or one of the kids with him, and i want him to tell her that he does love me and he is staying with his family, but we will welcome ethan, and even his brother into our lives. that will be IF we work this out. their was yelling, i cried so hard, then yelled, then cried. he yelled. i told him NEVER to blame me for not keeping his whacker in his pants, it was his decision, it was selfish and he was only thinking about getting his rocks off and not his family. he actually agreed. I also told him WE are going to the drs for screenings. i know i am forgetting things, i am so tired, I will add them as i remember them lol. i still dont know what i want to do, or honestly can do, i cant go thru another ow, or him leaving again for her.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
cant someone just please tell me what to do? ok know you cant do that, but how about, what you would do if you were me? advice opinions or 2x4's welcome!
idk amy, we shall see. it will be great to talk and catch up! love u too.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
hmmmmmm ok lack of sleep, explain that please carpenter lol
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Sometimes when things are really stressful, wierd, overwhelming...the best action for a bit is no action. My mom likes to hit me with that from time to time...step back...breathe....think....plan....then act.
I will check back in....hope that makes some sense.
Last edited by carpenter54; 12/01/0812:18 AM.
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
BG, hang in there. He has given you a lot to deal with. Take at least 48 hours to think it through. Your decisions will affect a lot of people. Consider going to a MC for advise. It would be good to get another perspective.
BG-I think you did great. Wow, he is really still kinda leaving it up to you for now. But the boundaries are good. Maybe the separate rooms for a while is not a bad idea. I just don't know. I"ll think and we can talk a little tomorrow.
Love you.
Kel
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
I hope you are having a peaceful night and that your teams did as you expected them to.
Since I have been threadless since shortly after I returned from my short hiatus from here, I just now created a thread over in 'Piecing'. And of course I will still frequently come over here and do as I usually do with you damsels in distress. I love you all and so you are the first that I am informing of my new "address".
Now isn't that special. Be good. Be God-fearing. Practice Christ's love at every oportunity. See ya soon. Bye.
