I had an experience again today of something that has happened quite frequently for me...I wonder if others have experienced this? I did some work today at a meeting that went very well...nothing spectacular, but I did a good job. Then the meeting concluded and I was set to return home. I get this feeling of sadness and feeling a bit lost at the idea of going home. I think it's because when something positive like doing a good job happens, it was so natural for me to want to share this w/ W. Seems I still am not used to her not being here anymore. Do others experience this kind of sinking feeling in relation to something like this?
Also, I have been working at trying to find ways to let go / step around / move through / deal with / whatever to call it/ of my anger. I don't think it's so much a case of it entirely being gone, but of trying to let some of it go and reduce its intensity. I still get myself hooked in on the whole unfairness angle of things, but am trying to do my best to accept things for where they are presently at--and accepting doesn't mean liking it.
Even though my life has been very busy, I still find myself feeling quite empty and lonely. I've been out on some dates, which has been okay, but I'm not in much of a space to be in a relationship. And those experiences just seemed to reinforce how it is difficult (I believe) to find someone special out there in the world. I don't want someone else, but since W. has nothing to give, it's a bit of a nowhere land.
Okay, those are a few thoughts. Just wanted to write this stuff down. I feel a mix of okay / anxious / sad / lonely right now.
