Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

[phbear316]

journal for me

Well I am sitting alone in my new apt..and all I feel is numb. Is that normal

I think and know I am over tired for almost everything is put away. I just need cable, I cannot believe how depend I became on TV even just for background noise most of the time.

So its been dvd's in the laptop

And if anyone reads Gabbysmom stitch, I confessed something.

I should put it on my own stitch, thanks to facebook, an old friend and co-worker who left have gotten back in touch with each other. We have been emailing each other back and forth for a long time. He came over thanksgiving night to help me pack, and move some final boxes. The joke the whole time was what can we do to make a lasting impression in your old house for your ex to find. Joke was we should messup the bed.

Well after a few hrs together it almost happened. I had to stop it I could emotionally handle it in my home, for I could not do what h has done to me in my home for the last few hrs that i had left. I could not leave with that memory it seemed to me more of a revenge thing.

Well friday my friend came over and helped me hang some blinds, well needless to say, we broke in my new mattress on the floor. I have not one regret of what I did.

This person is younger, we have discussed this openly the age thing and lots of other things, he has no problem with any of it. He has always liked me even when I was married he was kinda jealous of my stbex that I was with him.

Where this is going, I have no clue, but we are just going to take it for a ride. Seems we have lots in common his last relationship ended two years ago like mine and he had been with no one.

I know hit me if you wish with the 2x4's if you must. But my eyes are open. I just want to have fun.

kml-Ok I will look for that book, your right I have felt so guilty about taking stuff, which to replace on my end will cost me money, But I left him with enough to live. He will survive he wont cook he will be at OW more often I think he just came home cause it was his responsibility or he felt he had to show his face once in a while.

Ken F I think you are right, I think he is in a little shock, I don't ever think he thought I would do this. If others asked he would be like no she won't move out. Well H I'm gone.

I am trying so hard to let go of the anger, just rears its ugly head now and then. I will hold my head up high with grace and dignity.

I even cleaned up before I left.

hugs
bear