I haven't been sleeping well for over a year. I have used Melatonin, Lunesta(leaves an awful metallic taste in my mouth the entire next day) and tylenol sleep time(or something like that). The stress is awful. I feel better divorce wise, I was really moving forward and then of course this happens.
I know if I can't get my mind cleared of this stuff, I will keep having this issue. Funny how I slept better while we were in limbo.
Ex is just as deep in his fog as before. I will feel better somehow when he feels the guilt and pain over all the destruction he has caused. Like I said to you Wednesday, I can't pray for him yet. I wish him nothing but pain. Not very good of me I know but this is where I am right now. I know I will proceed forward.
I am going to heal once he quits picking at the scab. I am not so sure that he will be as lucky. But really what he does from this point on, unless it involves the kids is not my concern. I have been hurt more than I ever thought possible and am still alive. I will make it through this.
Sorry for being a bit gloomy today. The first snow is falling and the boys wake me up telling me the heater isn't on and oh yeah the toilet is clogged. It is what it is.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Sorry you are facing another hurdle. Not much to offer re advice. Keep doing the right thing and whatever else you can to protect yourself.
"It is what it is" EXACTLY. And yes it sucks, I agree.
But I know that somewhere in there is that strong woman that keeps coming back on here... I just know she will come out again. You can deal with this - hell, look at what you have dealt with so far.
"I think I can, I think I can..."
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Well I did get the 2 home problems fixed so that is a plus. Will have to deal with the other stuff as I can. Nothing else I really can do right now. I will just keep doing the best that I am able and paying what I can. Can't believe I have to wait this out 2 more months!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
2 months seems like a long time, but hopefully it will fly by with the holidays and everything. It does suck to go through this kind of stuff during the holidays. Have you put up your tree yet? I want to try to do that this week and put up some lights too.
The 2 months is if I want to keep my income tax refund. Otherwise it will go to the trustee. I am not sure I will be able to hang on that long. Like I said before extreme stress for me manifests itself physically, usually with me throwing up. I don't want to go down that road again but I will wait as long as I can. I keep hoping some solution will present itself.
Work was super busy and I still didn't get caught up. My boss was just as swamped as I was. That is good I guess. Nothing like job security.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm worried about you, Kat. The holidays can be such a stressful time anyway. Keep your kids as close as possible. Do you have an "emergency be there no matter what" kind of friend nearby? (((kat))))
I'll be okay. Thanks for the concern. Everyone gets a bit down now and then. This is just something I am really against but it looks like the only choice. That frustrates me.
With him filing that just meant that one of the options was taken away. though in all honesty, I know I can't count on him so that may not have been a real option anyway.
It so amazes me what one person can do to another without a care(seemingly). But I keep coming here and see people helping each other despite their own pain and know that this is the right way of the world. I will be okay.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Karen