I am still a bit angry but now I am feeling a bit down, too (cue waterworks). Feeling like I am just deluding myself about reconciliation.
I know that self-improvment is a good thing and I will keep it up for me. It's just that I really miss him. I know my life is not full enough yet, I realize I need more social activity. I am working on that (see previous post and I have a meet-up dinner this Wednesday with a group of women. I just find it hard to believe that anything is going to lift the sadness I feel. I miss his smile and his laughter. I miss his take on things and his voice. I miss his hugs.
Obviously, I could really have used some endorphins today. I cannot go to the gym because it is in his office building and I have no idea when he goes there on weekends and I really do not want to bump into him. He'll think I'm looking for him because I really never used it much. I have always prefered to run outside and work out at home.
It just kills me that he can go without seeing me or talking to me, that I was so easy to leave. Really am feeling pathetic today.
I do know that I have to pull myself out of this mood. I do recognize that it is my responsibility to cheer myself up and get on with it. Just need to feel sorry for myself a bit longer.
