On Friday W came to pick up the girls to go to Grandmas house for the weekend. She was very cheerful and pleasant. I gave her the key to the Prius, as I was letting her take it to save gas money. She said she didn't need it because D17 had hers and I said I'd prefer there be two keys when they are so far away.
She also came into my office and in a timid way handed me one of the Credit card bills in her name that I had told her I wanted to pay down because we used it to survive during the bad financial times. She said "You said you wanted to pay this down so I brought it over. But it has to be mailed today or it will be late". I just smiled and said thanks, I'll take care of it.
What a change from "You don't have to pay those bills, I'm half responsible".
They all said their goodbyes to me and left. About 5 minutes later W calls my cell to tell me something (don't remember what) then goes on to thank me for letting her take the Prius, that she'll save a lot of money. I just said that she was welcome, and I just see it to be a waste not to use it on a family trip.
She thanked me again and I said "you're welcome" and then bye.
It's almost like she can't thank me in person for things, so she calls me on the phone.
I called Grandma to let her know they are on the way and she started asking me how I'm doing, what's really going on. She says she doesn't really talk to W and only heard that W was unhappy and wanted to be happy. She thought that was foolish, you don't leave your family to 'be happy', she said. You stay with your family and do what you can to make life happy for all of them.
She knew about my problems and said to me that "You don't run away from your husband when he's in such a mess, you get him help or at least be firm with him so he'll take action."
She is angry at W for having affairs because she's not divorced. She knows I've been trying and she also knows that W is high maintenance because of her emotional issues. She's also angry at W for hurting her kids.
She's a wise woman, when I told her about OM she said "Well, he seems to be just as unhealthy as W is". What was sad was that she said "You'll probably be better off without her but she won't be better off without you".
She said "I wish there was something I could say to her to get her to straighten up but there isn't". I agreed, there isn't.
So, another family member who looks at the situation, hears both sides, and still thinks W is in the wrong.
I guess all that mattered to me was that I'm still loved by the people I thought would also abandon me. So, even if I don't have W, I still have family.
On another note, W called me this morning to ask me to make an appointment for D13 for an eye exam. She could have done it herself, or waited till tomorrow.
