It's been over two years since 'A' and I have been apart. However, my heart and my spirit is still married even more than ever.
One thing that I am grateful for is that 'A' is talking to me again. He calls only once in awhile, but I have a relief when he does. When he calls, I feel that I am sixteen years old again.
Even though he does initiate some contact ever few weeks, it only helps me realize that if I want any relationship with him, he needs control. I don't know how to get more of a connection and also allow him to maintain the feeling of control! I am uncertain of what actions I can take that will work for me. So far, he only seems to move a tad closer when I stay away. I don't know if there is anything I can do to connect in any way with him. I don't know if there are any other options for me.
Today is our anniversary. I am sure this date has no meaning to 'A'. Similar to that day we got married, snow flakes are falling. It was a very romantic evening . . . at least, it was to me.
Today, I am quietly patient, again. I live my life, and I am still standing firmly waiting.
