Another one bites the dust (2)

[No Longer BH]

I go away for a few days and come back to such loving support. You all have know idea how much my heart swelled after reading your support. Thank you so much. It has been a difficult month for me but your support and kindness has been a huge help.

So O Enlightend One has been following the rules of NC pretty well withthe exception of yesterday. He pulled up in his car and let my son out. I was over at my next door neighbors at the time because they showed up 30 min early. Son came over and asked if his dad could go into the house for 10 minutes to fix something on son's computer. I said ok, but then he needed to leave and please come and get me when he has left. THankfully I have put all of my stuff away and had locked my bedroom door so he could not see anything. Even though he came in to help my son, it still felt like it was an intrusion into my space. Guess that is the beast of divorce. I need to go through and figure out my wireless network here so that these problems dont arise anymore. I need to be the one to fix this stuff. I dont want to look to him for ANYTHING.

I had a wonderful thanksgiving and hope everyone here got to enjoy the holiday. While up at my bro's he had a conversation with me about O Enlightend One. Bro tells me he is not going to go into detail on things with me, that he will just be a filter on what OEO is asking for, but he wanted to leave me with one piece of information. Apparently in OEO's talk with my bro, in the midsts of all of his justification that he was trying to do, a conversation occurs concerning him living with maggot (guess you can feel my anger at this moment). My bro said "BH, just so you know, and I can say this with certainty, he is not living with maggot, he is staying with maggot. There is a huge difference. Now, she probably thinks they are living together, but he is just using her. You said yourself that he had an active on line dating profile and was messaging new OW. Just be glad you are no longer in that mess because from my conversation with him I could tell he was in a huge heap of seeking to find himself. He really is in a sad state."

SIL (OEO's brother's wife) came over last night. We had a really great time. Apparently my peaceful seeking STBXH is now not so peaceful. He is demanding that his brother and her cut me off. She just laughed and said "Like he has the right to chose who my friends are. He can just get over it." She told me that the only time they even hear from him is when is is depressed or wants something from them and she is sick of it. I told her that he was still their family and I know blood is thicker than friendship, yet I hoped they would not throw me away because they have been my family as well. She was so sweet and kind and said she had no intention of throwing me away. She just shook her head and commented on how messed up he is. She even giggled because last week on his facebook page he posted that he felt like karma's b!tch lately. I just laughed and said, yep, and he deserves all of it.

So, I am still trying to get to a more peaceful place. The anger has not subsided, but I think it will take awhile. I am looking at all of the positives in my life and trying to keep those as my focus. The rage comes in waves, sometimes when I am not even expecting it, but I am able to vent/cry/journal/or whatever to just get it out and then move on. He is still too much of a focus, but I am trying to stop that as well. I talk less and less about him to people and I think that is a good sign.

Thanks for all of the great support!