Doc has it bang on. We just did our weekend 3 weekends ago, and it is intense to say the least. Although my W and I are a LONG way from reconciliation, we now have a safe way and better way of communicating with each other. From a personal standpoint, my emotional growth that started that weekend has served me very well in my DBing efforts and coming to grips with all the possibilities of what my W says she really wants (D). I am no longer anxious, afraid or tormented by the possible outcomes of failure- I can accept them for what they are- out of my control and resting solely with her feelings. Well worth the weekend, and as Doc says- the monday after with a day off.
