For the Guy with Kids and a WW Vinte (20)

[hopeful4her]

Karen, my littlest one has always been my little 'psychic' one. I remember, she was five, the wife and I weren't talking and getting ready to go somewhere. Our 'sitch' had already started. We were in our bathroom doing our thing and D7 brings one of our little framed wedding pic and puts it on the counter between us and walked off.

You know, I think we're ALL a little spacey in our own way, so don't feel like your the only one. All your stuff is coming up really soon. I can only imagine how I would feel going through all the processes you are.

I think your GALing more than maybe most of us on here.



I didn't do much yesterday. In the morning, I got outside and did some yard clean up. Burned some old branches and stuff. Did some vaccuming. Didn't have to clean up much. When the wife left on Friday afternoon, she had the girls clean their rooms and make their beds. She made up S14's bed.

Even MY bed was made up! I found that odd. Made me wonder if she was poking around the room.

Truth be told, I had purposely left it unmade. I think deep inside, I was hoping she WOULD make it. Can't explain why. I think I even gave it a spritz of my Aqua.

I use the top of her dresser for my stuff right now. Some old papers and such. In a little pile, I had two phone numbers with girls names on it and under the papers, a pair of earrings. Also an address. No name, just an address. The phone numbers and the address were written in the girl's handwriting that they belonged to.

One number actually belonged to D11. I think it was the mother of a friend of hers. The other was the wife's neighbor that gave me the news about D11's period starting. She told me I could call her if I had any questions or problems. The address belongs to B. I had ordered her that converter box coupon online. I also had K's business card up there. The earrings belong to my sister. She left them here when she was watching the girls while I was in Laredo with the wife.

Another set of papers had some lyrics on it that I had printed a few months ago. Josh Groban.


Broken Vow

Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
While I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

[chorus]
I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

[chorus]

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
Ther's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end


If she saw this stuff, she saw it.

I spent yesterday as a 'me' day. After working on the yard, I watched a movie, then watched football all day and night. I cooked up those steaks I had bought the other day so that they won't go bad and had a really good dinner and good wine.

I had called the girls at about 6:30. They were eating dinner. I talked to D11 first and then D7. I asked to speak to the wife to make sure that it was ok to pick up the girls right after church for Thanksgiving at my parents. She said that was fine, and that she had to drop off a friend of S14's at noon too. I said ok and we hung up.

I believe that she's had her opportunity to 'think' things. I was there for her when her dad died. We spent Thanksgiving together and had a very nice time. When she was on the sofa sleeping, I covered her with a blanket. While we were watching the movie that night, I would get her some coffee when I went to get mine.

Big things and little things.

Now, I'll maintain the pull back as much as I can. I'm not going to 'try' anything at this point. Focus on me and MY life. Not hers. What happens will happen. I've done my part. Besides, I'm tired of 'trying' now. If she keeps the same chosen path, I'll accept it and keep moving on. I'll just keep working on myself and right now, I'll also keep my options open. If I get divorced, then hopefully I'll still be able to 'cash in' those chips I keep in my pocket.

Besides, the wife is so broken. I have to remember that. The rescuer and fixer in me is what keeps me trying. That thing that draws guys to the psycho's, right?

Oh yeah! And that stupid unconditional love thing I have developed for her.

Hope everyone has a great day today.

I'm waiting for the BCS results to come out. I'll be crushed if OU comes out ahead of my Longhorns. Should be interesting.